.....the hardest thing to understand in life is the weighs and balances of respect, every relationship you have in life will be based on respect......the nerdy little kids who the other kids "don't want to be around" aren't because they are diffrent(everyone is diffrent) the so called "Emo" kids aren't "outcasts" because their going through a tough time and don't know how to handle it [no one really knows the best way to hadle it] the so called Losers aren't called that because they are worthless [we all mean something to even the people who dislike us the most] its all about Respect and Disrespect and how people relate to eachother on that thin line you can go from Genious to Nerd, Party Girl to Slut, Bestfriend to Fan, Caring Person to Wimp and so on......all because of how much someone/everyone respects you...its hard though because the slightest little thing can change that balance.... and some people decided to stop caring or sharing in fear that others won't respect them.....and in some ways their right but that's just picking the easy way out. People always say respect your self and others will respect you and that is one of the truest statements their is but........how many people in the world really truly respects their selves (I know I don't most of the time) some of us know enough to put up a front or wall like we do have unshakin control of our confidence and some of us survive by stealing the confidence of others to use as our own..... but I honestly can't picture a person that doesn't lok in the mirror and think "why am I so worthless I make people in the worst possible condition look like super heros" "why was I so mean...... how could anyone care about someone like me" "why do I make so many mistakes? I'm so defective!!!!!!!!" " people always talk about how attractive that person is........ they don't do that to me.......am I attravtive" no one would ever pick their selfs as their own role model because to ourselves a lot of times we our at the bottem of the barrel, and if anyone really knew that you felt this way(the same way everyone feels on a daily basis but truly thinks about everynow and again) they would think of you as weak....emotional....and a loser and would lose respect for you(because that is how the human mind works...sad isn't it) and ........
If a husband respects his wife he wouldn't cheat on her... if a student respects a teacher they will do their best to learn from them... if a child respects a parent they will do their best to honor them.... if people didn't feel disrespected we would have wives calling they're husbands every hour "checking up on them" and pushing them away....and we wouldn't have kids not listening to their teachers because they feel "well she like the other girls better so why should I even try" or Teenages that say "its not like I ever make them happy so what's the used". if people respected themselves we would have kids that say "I KNOW MY PARENTS LOVE ME and our PROUD OF ME so I should show them how much I appriciate them" students that say "those girls get along good with the teacher if they are that cool maybe I should get to know my teachers better" wives that said "I trust my husband and if I have reason not too then I simply won't because I'm worth more than that "..............................so here in lies the big question How do we respect ourselves(some one we feels deserves no such a thing as respect) so other people will respect us???
Think about the people you know well.....the ones you hardly know...the people you've heard...the people who have changed and the people who haven't about the people you look up too and the people youe judged (miss judged)
Somthing to think about....
Goodnight love.... Ebonydoll.
If you have read one part of my blog you know why this is the music of the moment on my sweet and sour 17th
I lost my Mentor because he became my Favorite Super Hero
I lost my Favorite Super Hero because he became my Friend
I lost my Friend because he became the Brother I Always Wanted
I lost the Brother I Always Wanted because he became the Man I Love
I lost the Man I Love because he became my Everything
I lost Everything because I'm immature and all really needed was for him to be my mentor.
on the spot,
"Tears of an Ebonydoll"
by....... Ebonydoll
1. Seeing the Daili Lama
2. My Nephew turned 1
3. My Bestfriend (since brownies) got Married
4. My bestfriend (since a year ago) got Married
5. My Aunt that I haven't seen in 10 year came from TX to visit
6. I received 2 really nice job offers
7. I became apart of local Tv show
8. My DM425 turned sweet16
9. I learned that My friends think I only have ONE flaw and its that I worry to much aka self induced anxiety attacts LOL
10. Some I respected beyond all reason, told me they loved me.....and meant it
11. my bestfriend (that moved away when I was12) came back to visit. And I seen her for the first time in 5 years.
12. When got a new dog Wolf and Husky mix
13. I found out that I don't have Skin Cancer and it is just Pityriasis Rosea.......long story (thank the Lord)
14. Was introduced to Yoga
15. Was given a 1991 Mac Computer
16. Went To the opening party in Seattle U village for Fafi's M.A.C Cosmetics Line Launch
17. made more friends into Close Friends and Made enemies into friends(that I I'm still working on)
Today I am 17 years old
(And I'm scared to death)
And I'm posting "17 things" all day today for the event and incadents that accured this year
What are you most looking forward to in August? Hum....this is a hard question because common...it's and entire month......so give me a moment...ok I think I got it....MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm turning 17 years old [I know, I know its very very young and I'm a baby and blah blah blah] to me it sounds ancient.......for some reason I still feel like I'm 12 saying "when I turn 16 I wanna be pretty and smart, nice friends, have a car and........a hole lot of things that I don't have" lol so its kinda hard to believe how horribly old I am lol
So my upcomming posts will be 17 things posts for my Sweet & Sour 17th.
EbonyDoll
Algebra- Run and Hide is the song of the moment because I need to relax and in a way, this song is how I'm feeling about life at this point in time.
YO and Chillen
Everytime I hear these two words I just wanna strangle somthing because they are so annoying. (to me) so yes if your talking to me please don't say "yo" before every sentance (I won't treat you different, but if you do it just might make me cry) and if I ask you what your doing and you choose say "Chillen" or "Nothing" don't expect me to reply back. Thank you for listening and good day.
EbonyDoll
Most people who are ticklish happen to be very Artistic Persons.
Hey Voxers
test out my theory on friends and family and tell me your results......I like feedback just like Janet^-^
Ebony Doll
This is the song of the moment because: is soooo Ebony Doll!!!!!!! when grow up is right, I'm not worried about fame, all I want is to share my vision. I am turnign 17 next month (yea me!!!!!!) every single year people tell me that I'm becoming a woman lol my sixteenth was the worst I decided not to have a party because I thought no one would come so I spent the entire day volunteering at a recreation center, surving people food and since a couple of my friends we're telling people that it was my birthday, some of them gave me money. I hope that I become a woman someday....or atleast feel like one at some point in my life. the only thing I want for my birthday is to have as much confidence as these women do.
We'll....on the contrary I slept good and hard but I had the stangest dream ='/ well...basicly we we're on our way to coulone, and I was getting dressed, it was the late evening ( alil late to be taking a field trip to the beach but none the less that's where we were going) and wile I was getting ready I decided to do alil voxing [the urge to multi-task is an inevitable cures that runs throught the women in my family lol jk] but as I was web sufing a ran into a few pop ups....and nudy sites (ewwww! I know) but suddenly I came across a site that said "not even close to legal but oh so ready to be loved", the pop up was in sepia and the explanation was hilarious (see the girl in their NATURAL habitat then imagine them getting down and dirty...featuring 4 girls that love too &*(% including two new teenage untouchable beautys.....sounds like a freak act in a circus don't it lol ) I had to see the rest of the page(I normaly surf on my sidekick and it only shows the top of the page and then you can scroll down from there) but as I scrolled down I see the picture I noticed how familiar they looked, too familiare, inface they we're really old pictures of ME And my BESTFRIEND BLUW..............from when we we're around 12 years old WTF!!!!!!! I seen it then suddenly thought (NO!!!!! this can't be possible I don't have any of these pictures on my blog and and......... what will this do to my future????? and... and... and....................... what will my Family say????) so I decided I was just imagining it and the girls probably just looked kinda like us, so I looked it up on my giant teddy bears stomach so I could get a better look(the teddy bear had a large computer screem that happened to be his tummy(I kinda want one like that now) but when I looked it up on the big screen it was worse than I ever could have imagined (we were'nt nude or anything you had to give a credit card number or sumthing to enter the site) but it showed about 20 pictures of just me and her with our friends and hanging out together, there was even a family photo I took with my parents on xmas when I was 11. I ended up showing it too my parents they asked me things like (what was wrong with me) and (what have byou done!!!!) but at the end we calmed down and decided that some one might have stole pictures Blue had stored on her Myspace....so as soon as she got back from germany we would inform her and the authoritys............but when I woke up I was sooooo shakin up I wanted to quit my vox all to gether so there was no trace of me on the internet. Now I really feel for the people that have to go through sitchuations like that, so today I'de like for you to pray for all the innocent and not so innocent internet victims out there and pray that others have the wisdom to stay out of those type of sitchuations....because that's exactly what I'll be doing.
Ebony Doll
